the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My feet surprised me
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