whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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