Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
