Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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