sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
