Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
false alarm, still single
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
