I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
