Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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