He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
