this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
