i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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