do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
