omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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