My sheets look like a crime scene.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
