apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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