Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
