I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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