no, he came in my armpit
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
