I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
