i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
