Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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