In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
