Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
