When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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