I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
