I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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