I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is Oprah even human
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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