I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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