Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
