Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
