That's intense
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
