from now on my penis is your penis
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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