I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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