Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
