very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
too bad you live with your parents still
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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