First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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