Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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