Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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