its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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