I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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