He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
