It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
