I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
