chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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