worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
