lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
