Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
