Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I could have mohawked her pubes.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
