eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
