this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
