Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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